Editor’s note: The long lunch

This editor’s note first appeared in issue296 of the MARKETING Weekender

My adventures with copywriting genius Jude Mohan (pictured left) continued recently just before the FMCO. 

Like a true officer and gentleman, he announced lunch for three at the British Raj and suggested we wear blazers. I realised he was not joking because Malaysia’s best comedian Allan Perera (pictured right) showed up. In a polka dotted blazer! 

I could sense a riot looming as both these fine gentlemen set the course for a talkfest afternoon. Both are creative souls and both didn’t give a hoot to other hoots. 

Allan does not crack many jokes when he is around us because we make fun of him. He rather observe Jude and I bantering as he knows the stuff can be used in his shows. 

Where do you think Rukumani Jones came from? That’s Jude Mohan letting it rip! Yes, the truth is out – Jude and I are the clowns in this game. 

We don’t really think Allan is funny, but we’ll kill anyone who agrees with us.Jude’s career in advertising started how it ended, he gatecrashed his way in and gatecrashed his way out.

Standing on ceremony with glass in hand, Jude summons Ludhiana-legend masterchef Gurdial Singh aka Guru every 10 minutes to the bar just so we were suitably pampered with some ravishing dishes that were all named by Jude. 

You see, this Jude is one helluva genius fellar. He conceptualised the whole place and decked it up too. 

From the posters on the walls (mostly featuring blood thirsty Sikhs) to rounding up some crooks (I mean cooks) on the run in the Punjab heartland, the place is a heaven for those who love full serving bars (not just well stocked) and a respite for the creative spirit in us. 

So I did the mandatory tour of the posters to check the ads, with glass in hand as per house protocol, and I was served a feast of brilliant copywriting. And before I forget, now that I am on my fourth single-malt, the website is simply spectacular (hic).But Jude’s talent goes beyond the walls, and gatecrashes right into the heart of kitchen. 

The man is taken, but his flair for cooking is next level. Especially Anglo-Indian cuisine. To spoil yourself at the British Raj (Block D, Jaya One), look for Chief Sepoy Dharvin (bald and beautiful) or Sepoy Ram (curly haired whizz who keeps it dry behind the bar, and is far from wet behind the ears). 

All the stuff on the menu are Jude’s original curations: Bombay Pav Bhaji (in a Bruschetta!), Paani Puri Shots (with Vodka instead of Paani) and worth fighting for is the Gurkha Gunpowder Pork. 

Sweet revenge can be savoured with a castrated creation called Lord Mountbatten’s Balls: minced lamb balls hand-made with Indian spices, then stewed painstakingly into a beautiful, iconic red Rogan Josh curry. 

Jude claims it was a personal favourite of Lord Dickie himself. We believe him. I mean what do I know about food reviews, I’m just trying to finish this blady editor’s note (hic). 

Another setengah Ram! Make it double stengah! Jude does not own this fine dining establishing but he pretends like he does (what typo?).

In fact, he gives the impression anyone can own the place as long as they pay their bills. In other worst, bragging rights are rentable as you walk through the door. 

I don’t member paying the bill when I left at 5, but Allan suggested we bhai the place instead. 

Jude has not been answering our calls since. 

That fellar is a blady genius I tell you (hic). 

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