This piece was first published in MARKETING WEEKENDER Issue 353
I went for an industry event recently and for the first time in years, I was with the floor audience throughout.
I met, bumped, nudged, spoke, joked, poked, shoulder-tapped at least 60 people.
Here are some of my, hopefully satirical, people-watcher takes:
Quiet:
Won a new account (small) or just lost one (big).
Quiet and drinking:
In between jobs.
Listening attentively:
Sourcing newbiz leads.
Always looking around:
Just got promoted.
Loud and drinking:
Avoiding dinner.
Loud and eating:
Avoiding alcohol.
Restless:
Vegetarian… or sitting with boss.
Going for a smoke:
Bored, going home, or game.
Constantly going to the loo:
Proud to be overdressed.
Makeup and foundation:
Going on stage.
No makeup:
Ex beauty queen.
Sexy, suave, or both:
Going on stage, or hoping to be asked to go on stage.
Smiling all the time (young):
Just removed braces.
Smiling all the time (older):
Inebriation or psychotropic.
Smiling nervously:
Doing root canal the next day.
Never move from seat:
Know 2023 is a recession year.
Without name card:
Self-appointed VIP or owes printer.
Never claps:
Shying from name card suitors.
WhatsApping during event:
Running for GE 15.
WhatsApping about event:
Running from event.
Facebooking pictures of event:
Wooing late gatecrashers.
Google-searching Roblox:
Just got a job in Digital.
Taking lotsa pictures:
Working for host of event.
Invisible:
Got new job but boss does not know yet.
Busy near the door:
Busy dumping name cards.
Wearing a hat:
Media person pretending to be in advertising.
Wearing bow tie:
Advertising person pretending to be a strategist.
Tips the waiter:
CEO.
Does not tip the waiter:
CFO.
Tips the waiter and waits:
HR.
Looking for toothpick:
Procurement.
Turban: Reporter from MARKETING (black), Malaysian Reserve (blue) or Digital News Asia (grey).
