Posted on by THE HAMMER
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Thoughts that can make (or break) your day
10 Feb
Welcome to advertising, the greatest show on earth. A place where you survive by dodging budget bullets and promising miracles on a dime. Buckle up as I take you through this wild ride: the good, the bad and the insane….
What do creatives think about media?
Rich step-cousins.
What does media think about creatives?
PMEBs.
What creatives think about account service?
Nice people who pick up the bill for them.
What clients think about creatives?
Brats we must tolerate.
Who do big networks fire first?
Staff with regional roles.
My biggest priority in life?
Self-preservation.
What am I always afraid of?
Poverty.
How are creative ideas sold?
Reverse-engineering.
Is data key to marketing?
For optimising workflows, yes.
For great creative work, no. Why?
Because any creative worth their salt has an innate sense of creating awe.
What is data good for?
Justifications.
What do brands really want?
Fame.
Agencies get good people by….
Poaching.
How do big networks fire their top bosses?
Nailing them on dodgy expense claims or sexual misadventures.
When is teamwork best displayed?
When you see 87 people mob the awards stage over one win.
How do some agencies overcome cash flow shortfalls?
Hire freelancers, and then pay them late.
What’s the best line agencies give suppliers?
The next job will be big.
What’s the best line suppliers give their suppliers?
Waiting for payment.
What’s the best line some clients give agencies?
Please resend invoice.
Best line after receiving invoice?
Send us the Purchase Order.
Who do agencies hate the most?
Procurement officers (not their own).
Which client will invite the whole town for a pitch?
Government.
Which client has the worst review process?
Government.
What do advertising people struggle with?
Creating an ad for themselves.
How to woo new business clients?
Bring AI experts to the meeting and look impressed when they talk, while glancing gleefully at the client in approval.
How to answer a question you don’t want to answer?
“I’m not very good at quantum physics.”
What is a budget client?
Bad paymasters who sit on boards of public companies. Overrated trend in advertising. Viral marketing.
Best part of working in advertising?
Walking into big corporate offices feeling important.
Worst part of working in advertising?
Being found out before your first award.
Worst way to sell an advertising idea?
WhatsApping a PDF.
Advice for first timers?
Get comfortable with rejection.
Who is an advertising expert?
Everybody.
Biggest truth about advertising.
Nobody dies (Neil French).
My first choice of which industry to work in?
Advertising.
What is the most valuable commodity on the planet?
Thought.
Why?
It is hard work. And costly. Thinking isn’t just part of the job – it is the job.
Because when we stop thinking, we stop creating and living a meaningful life.
And that’s a fate far worse than a missed deadline.
Now that you’ve read the thoughts of this scribe, send us yours at ham@adoimagazine.com
