Ashes to Ashes, Brands to Dust – Sacred Rituals of the Fashion Gods

By The Malketeer

The Scorching Scandal of Luxury Label ‘Cremation’

In the opulent realm of high fashion, where exclusivity is the holy grail, luxury brands have stumbled upon a rather unconventional way to maintain their air of elitism – by literally going up in flames.

Yes, you read that right.

While the rest of us mere mortals are busy trying to snag the latest ‘it’ bag or designer shoes, these sartorial overlords are busy tossing their unsold inventory into the nearest furnace, reducing perfectly good products to a pile of ashes.

But why, you ask, would anyone in their right mind destroy perfectly good merchandise?

Well, my friends, it’s all about preserving that oh-so-precious aura of scarcity.

The Inferno of Exclusivity

As one industry insider revealed, “If the peasants can’t have it, no one can!”

And what better way to ensure that than to literally incinerate it into oblivion?

After all, who needs to donate or resell the items when you can just watch them go up in smoke, taking that perceived value with them.

Burning Billions for the ‘Brand’

But the real kicker is the sheer scale of this fiery debaclе.

Estimates suggest that luxury giants like Burberry, Richemont, and LVMH are collectively torching billions of dollars worth of product each year, all in the name of preserving their hallowed brand image.

Imagine the kind of good that could be done with those funds – feeding the hungry, clothing the poor, or even just investing in new, innovative designs that the general public might actually get to enjoy.

But no, these brands would rather see their wares reduced to cinders than risk the plebeians getting their grubby hands on them.

Where There’s Smoke, There’s… Well, More Smoke

And the saddest part?

The public is expected to just smile and nod as these titans of industry gleefully toss money into the fire.

After all, who are we to question the sacred rituals of the fashion gods?

So, the next time you’re drooling over the latest runway collection, just remember: the true price of exclusivity might just be the ashes of your dreams.

But hey, at least the brands can stay ‘hot’… literally.