ICYMI: DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT YOUR BRAND

We all want our brand to be loved. It’s only natural. And yes, there are some “Miss Popularity” brands out there that people actually care about. And yes, we each have a handful we are attached to.

But for the most part, Ms Marketer, other than you and your mom, there are alarmingly few people who give a damn about your brand of… pickles, half-and-half, mayonnaise, cookies, tires, chewing gum, toothbrush, umbrella, dishwasher, napkins, toaster, gasoline, horseradish, dental floss, paper towels, golf balls, shoe laces, pillows, pencils, deodorant, nail clippers, furniture polish, frozen chicken strips, lamps, potting soil, bathing caps, glassware, clocks, fungicide, dish towels, cat litter, sun block, cookie dough, motor oil, light bulbs, burglar alarms, ironing boards, fire insurance, coffee filters, pillow cases, mouthwash, vacuum cleaner bags, shower curtains, and the thousand other things they buy every year.

Branding experts tell us that consumers want to “join the conversation” about brands, and be part of a brand-centered “tribe” or “community.” They also tell us that a brand that aligns with our values will be rewarded by the sharing of enthusiasm for the brand with our online community.

And if you believe any of this nonsense you’re nuts.

To prove a point…let’s have a look at your own behavior and see how it aligns with the beliefs of these experts.

Think about your refrigerator. Think about all the stuff that’s in there: The cheese, the juices, the jelly, the butter, the beer, the soda, the mayonnaise, the bacon, the mustard…

Now think about your pantry. The cereals, the beans, the napkins, the flour, the detergent, the sugar, the rice, the bleach, the paper towels…

Next your medicine cabinet. The toothpaste, the pain relievers, the shampoo, the soap, the bandages, the deodorant, the dental floss…

Now your closet and dresser. Your socks, your underwear, your shirts, your pajamas, your swim suit, your t-shirts, your sweaters, your jeans, your slippers…

Now your garage. The battery, the tires, the wiper blades, motor oil, gasoline, the air filter, the muffler…

Now answer these questions:

 Do you “share content” about any of this stuff?

 Do you feel “personally engaged” with these brands?

 Do you “join the conversation” about any of this stuff?

 Do you feel like you are part of these brands’ “tribes” or “communities?”

If you don’t, why in the freakin’ world do you believe anyone else does?

Because some brand babbler says so? Because your boss says so? Because you learned it in some bullshit advertising course?

In fact, a smart marketer assumes that no one gives 10% of a flying shit about her brand. She assumes that she has to prove its value to her customers every day. She takes nothing for granted. She does not believe that there are hoards of “brand ambassadors” out there in cyberland “advocating” for her brand. If there are a few, great. But she’s not going to count on it.

For a smart marketer, every day is Groundhog Day. Every day you have to get up, drag your ass to work, and remind the world – once again – why they should buy your stuff.

That’s why god created advertising.

Bob is a writer and speaker. He has written seven books about advertising, each of which has been an Amazon #1 seller.